There was a time when I didn't know I was submissive. At this point in my life, it seems strange to say that, but it is a fact. Self-awareness came slowly to me, and it took a lot of effort to understand what I need from a life partner. I don't regret my path because it made me who I am, but I do wish I could have spared some of the pain that I caused other people. Like George Orwell fighting totalitarianism with his typewriter, I write because I believe my experience has made some things much more clear than others.
There is also the impetus of reaching out to others who struggle. While 50 Shades may get many people talking about kinky things, it isn't, from the bits and pieces I've seen, much of a resource for those who are seriously curious. Just today I saw a young man ask, in an obviously tortured emotional state, why he is drawn to FemDom porn when he has never experienced submission to a woman. The answer, of course, is that he finds it erotic for reasons he hides from himself. I suspect that he may feel repulsed after he masturbates because he believes such things are not what "men like me" should enjoy. Human desire being what it is, he soon finds himself searching the internet for more anonymous satisfaction.
As Mistress has written, we are not public about the details other than in our writing. It just isn't so important to parents and siblings and cousins that we invite them into the details of our love. They either wouldn't care, giving us space to be happy and fulfilled, or it would create distrust and resentment. Either way, we would remain as we are. With no real upside and large potential downsides, we opt for in-person privacy, pulling aside the curtain around our relationship only as we feel prudent for our writing.
What does it say about us that we can walk through the world with our privacy intact? Not much, really. But there is the implication that the roles we share with each other do not bleed over into our interactions with other people. In other words, She can be entirely in charge of our romance and still be a friend, daughter, sister, aunt, and more, without needing to be in charge of everything. I can be a father, brother, son, uncle, and more, without anyone knowing that I willingly surrender everything to Her.
Because we do not live fictional lives, the specifics of what we do will never conform to what others might expect or fit with any preconceived notions of what FemDom is or isn't. It is what She needs and enjoys and it is what I need and enjoy. What more does any loving relationship need? Why should anyone be ashamed or diminished because they have a love that not only sustains them, but allows them to stretch for the limits of their potential?
The obvious answers are "nothing more" and "they shouldn't". In a fairer world, those words would roll over every tongue. But, as anyone who is old enough to read this can attest, we don't live in a fair world. The arc of time still stretches towards that goal, but it has not yet attained it.
It has been said that the optimist believes we can live in the best of all possible worlds and the pessimist fears that we already do. Until my optimism fades, I will continue to write in order to advocate and educate. But I will do so from behind a veil of privacy so that I may find greater satisfaction in my life while I may.
For the love
Friday, February 20, 2015
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Undercover Mistress
We all know that there is still an unfair stigma attached to the Kink. "They" think we are gnarly biker sorts, with wild hair, wild eyes, chains and leather on every bit of clothing, tattoos creeping up our necks and bad teeth. They also think that BDSM has to be dark and ugly. None of that is Me.
I am well-dressed and fashionable. I have lovely hair and nice white teeth. I have one modest tattoo that was a gift to myself when I turned 40. My eyes are soft and kind, as is My smile. I am, however, Dominant. I despise being called honey or sweetie. I do not tolerate men degrading women, or each other for that matter, and I have been described as "intense." If I get pissed off, hell hath no fury like mine, but I tend to be fairly even tempered. I love shoes...OMG I love shoes! I am an unabashed flirt. I can't help it, its just my nature. I don't mean to flirt, and don't even mean anything by it, but its just how I function. LOL Honestly I am not really even aware of it until later, or if someone calls me on it. There was a young waiter at a restaurant that I frequent. He would scramble to get to my table. A crook of the finger or a pout of the lip and he was all but sitting in my lap. It used to make my friend fall over laughing. She would roll her eyes and say that my Scorpio was showing. HEHE Ok that one was intentional... so what I am trying to say is almost no one around me has any clue about my bedroom preferences. The men at work would never dare tell a dirty joke in front of me. This is how I feel it is supposed to be. No one needs to know what others do in the private time and private space. Even if there was no stigma attached, My lovestyle is Mine.
Sigh, OK its not private when I talk about it here! LOL But this also is a forum to discuss such things. We are working to remove the stigma, and help people to embrace their own realities. I will never go to a "munch" or a kink event, because I would not be comfortable there. I like to talk to like-minded people, but I like to keep them at a distance. I hate to be judged and more than once I have been called a "powder puff" or a "fluff." My Kink lacks the brutality that some think is required. Too fucking bad, I like My Kink, It serves MY needs and My tomio's needs perfectly and it does not need to conform to anyone else's rules or guidelines. As a Sensual Dominant, I love that I can bind tomio up, spank, torment and bite him until he is whimpering, then cuddle up, kiss him gently and tell him how much he is loved. It feels good. It feeds my hunger and his and in the end THAT is all that matters.
Our Kink is not for everyone. It does not have to be for everyone. Some like things that we don't and vise versa. The beauty of the kinky world, and the world in general is that it comes in all sorts of colors and flavors, All you need is a like-minded partner and the willingness to try new things. Have fun, be safe, and get your Kink on!
I am well-dressed and fashionable. I have lovely hair and nice white teeth. I have one modest tattoo that was a gift to myself when I turned 40. My eyes are soft and kind, as is My smile. I am, however, Dominant. I despise being called honey or sweetie. I do not tolerate men degrading women, or each other for that matter, and I have been described as "intense." If I get pissed off, hell hath no fury like mine, but I tend to be fairly even tempered. I love shoes...OMG I love shoes! I am an unabashed flirt. I can't help it, its just my nature. I don't mean to flirt, and don't even mean anything by it, but its just how I function. LOL Honestly I am not really even aware of it until later, or if someone calls me on it. There was a young waiter at a restaurant that I frequent. He would scramble to get to my table. A crook of the finger or a pout of the lip and he was all but sitting in my lap. It used to make my friend fall over laughing. She would roll her eyes and say that my Scorpio was showing. HEHE Ok that one was intentional... so what I am trying to say is almost no one around me has any clue about my bedroom preferences. The men at work would never dare tell a dirty joke in front of me. This is how I feel it is supposed to be. No one needs to know what others do in the private time and private space. Even if there was no stigma attached, My lovestyle is Mine.
Sigh, OK its not private when I talk about it here! LOL But this also is a forum to discuss such things. We are working to remove the stigma, and help people to embrace their own realities. I will never go to a "munch" or a kink event, because I would not be comfortable there. I like to talk to like-minded people, but I like to keep them at a distance. I hate to be judged and more than once I have been called a "powder puff" or a "fluff." My Kink lacks the brutality that some think is required. Too fucking bad, I like My Kink, It serves MY needs and My tomio's needs perfectly and it does not need to conform to anyone else's rules or guidelines. As a Sensual Dominant, I love that I can bind tomio up, spank, torment and bite him until he is whimpering, then cuddle up, kiss him gently and tell him how much he is loved. It feels good. It feeds my hunger and his and in the end THAT is all that matters.
Our Kink is not for everyone. It does not have to be for everyone. Some like things that we don't and vise versa. The beauty of the kinky world, and the world in general is that it comes in all sorts of colors and flavors, All you need is a like-minded partner and the willingness to try new things. Have fun, be safe, and get your Kink on!
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Sorry for the long absence-- Life is just life!
Hello Fine Readers!
We are still here, still together and still rolling in The Kink. This blog might be a little bit fragmented, because there is a lot of stuff that I want to touch on...
First, Winter Sucks. There is snow literally up to my ass in New England at this point, and in case I never mentioned it, I am tall! It's bullshit, I hate it and there is nothing I can do about it. Control Freaks like Me hate shit like that! So there. It sucks, time to move on.
It's Valentine's Day. I hope you made it a happy one! I was greeted this morning with the most loving and wonderful text that it brought tears to My eyes! The way that tomio loves me is unlike any love I have ever felt. It's the kind of love people dream of, write of and paint for... the kind I never thought I would find. I am grateful for him every day! I love you smoochieface! Yes, yes the mean Dominant Mistress of Wickedness just called him a silly name. Deal with it. LMAO!
The other thing that Valentine's Day means this year is the release of 50 shades of bullshit, the movie. While it amuses me to no end that churches and the uptight citizens brigade is all up in arms about the the movie, the reality of it is that, as I pointed out in My blog of July 2012, the books SUCK! They are baldy written, filled with the lamest sex scenes in history, loaded with inaccurate stereotypes of BDSM play, and worst of all it portrays blatant abuse as Kink. I am not going to rehash all of that nonsense, I wrote it once, go read it here, http://fortheloveofdominance.blogspot.com/2012/07/50-shades-of-you-have-got-to-be-kidding.html
While I am not going to get into it all, I can't believe that they made a movie out of it! Now all of the people who don't read, but still think BDSM is something they want to see, are going to go and get an eyeful of BULLSHIT! They are going to see systematic abuse wearing the guise of Kink. They are going to see a depiction a man being able to remove someone's consent by having them sign a piece of paper that they do not understand. They are going to see rape, emotional abuse, neglect, mistreatment, maniacal control and all of it is going to wrapped up in a phony package called BDSM. Once I was hopeful that it would open the door for people to stop thinking of it as dark, creepy, dangerous and scary. I wanted people to be able to see it a just another way people interact and private way to get needs met between two consenting adults. That was a pipe dream. This is going to color it darker and increase the stupidity level. I am so disappointed and angry about it... I can't even express myself correctly.
Ok so on to a more vibrant note. We are still here, still kinky and still very much in love. There have been emotional times over the past 8 months, medical issues, money issues and stress. Lots of stress, but we push through it all. There have been times when our visits were not about the kink at all, but about two people with the need for loving contact. We have cuddled and watched movies and sprawled in bed, wrapped up in a bundle of arms and legs, just staring at the TV. It's OK to do that, because its what we both needed. We talked about needs and wants. Sometimes we had big plans for all sorts of naughty deliciousness only to have the actually time dissolve into tears and needs that were well outside of the Kink...
Here's the thing: We are a couple that is involved in Kinky things, we play Kinky, we having Kinky toys and talk Kinky. I am always Dominant. That part never changes because it is a not a role that I play, it is who I am. My tomio is always submissive. It is who he is. But the bottom line is that we are still PEOPLE. We have wants, needs, hungers, fears, feelings and our time together is about filling the voids and making it all right again. Sometimes that is not Kinky.
That being said, our last visit we found our way back into the full blown Kink (Wicked grin) and it was good, damn, it was good!
We are still here, still together and still rolling in The Kink. This blog might be a little bit fragmented, because there is a lot of stuff that I want to touch on...
First, Winter Sucks. There is snow literally up to my ass in New England at this point, and in case I never mentioned it, I am tall! It's bullshit, I hate it and there is nothing I can do about it. Control Freaks like Me hate shit like that! So there. It sucks, time to move on.
It's Valentine's Day. I hope you made it a happy one! I was greeted this morning with the most loving and wonderful text that it brought tears to My eyes! The way that tomio loves me is unlike any love I have ever felt. It's the kind of love people dream of, write of and paint for... the kind I never thought I would find. I am grateful for him every day! I love you smoochieface! Yes, yes the mean Dominant Mistress of Wickedness just called him a silly name. Deal with it. LMAO!
The other thing that Valentine's Day means this year is the release of 50 shades of bullshit, the movie. While it amuses me to no end that churches and the uptight citizens brigade is all up in arms about the the movie, the reality of it is that, as I pointed out in My blog of July 2012, the books SUCK! They are baldy written, filled with the lamest sex scenes in history, loaded with inaccurate stereotypes of BDSM play, and worst of all it portrays blatant abuse as Kink. I am not going to rehash all of that nonsense, I wrote it once, go read it here, http://fortheloveofdominance.blogspot.com/2012/07/50-shades-of-you-have-got-to-be-kidding.html
While I am not going to get into it all, I can't believe that they made a movie out of it! Now all of the people who don't read, but still think BDSM is something they want to see, are going to go and get an eyeful of BULLSHIT! They are going to see systematic abuse wearing the guise of Kink. They are going to see a depiction a man being able to remove someone's consent by having them sign a piece of paper that they do not understand. They are going to see rape, emotional abuse, neglect, mistreatment, maniacal control and all of it is going to wrapped up in a phony package called BDSM. Once I was hopeful that it would open the door for people to stop thinking of it as dark, creepy, dangerous and scary. I wanted people to be able to see it a just another way people interact and private way to get needs met between two consenting adults. That was a pipe dream. This is going to color it darker and increase the stupidity level. I am so disappointed and angry about it... I can't even express myself correctly.
Ok so on to a more vibrant note. We are still here, still kinky and still very much in love. There have been emotional times over the past 8 months, medical issues, money issues and stress. Lots of stress, but we push through it all. There have been times when our visits were not about the kink at all, but about two people with the need for loving contact. We have cuddled and watched movies and sprawled in bed, wrapped up in a bundle of arms and legs, just staring at the TV. It's OK to do that, because its what we both needed. We talked about needs and wants. Sometimes we had big plans for all sorts of naughty deliciousness only to have the actually time dissolve into tears and needs that were well outside of the Kink...
Here's the thing: We are a couple that is involved in Kinky things, we play Kinky, we having Kinky toys and talk Kinky. I am always Dominant. That part never changes because it is a not a role that I play, it is who I am. My tomio is always submissive. It is who he is. But the bottom line is that we are still PEOPLE. We have wants, needs, hungers, fears, feelings and our time together is about filling the voids and making it all right again. Sometimes that is not Kinky.
That being said, our last visit we found our way back into the full blown Kink (Wicked grin) and it was good, damn, it was good!
Friday, August 1, 2014
The last couple of months have been...challenging. If you've read through this blog; then you know that Mistress and I live apart. Although we have daily contact and may actually talk to each other more than people who live together; the actual in-the-same-room time is limited. Generally, we get a single weekend a month with maybe a day-trip tossed in between.
We didn't see each other for the entirety of June.
It's just the demands of our lives. We had a weekend late in May and vacation was scheduled for early July. Because funding is limited, we had to choose whether to have more time together at vacation and skip overnight trips in June, or have our regular trip in June and then see vacation reduced to little more than an average trip. We chose to have four days together in July.
We also planned a day-trip for June. The plan was for us to meet at a small waterpark in Connecticut (with my kids present) and to have a long, fun-filled day. However, those plans were cancelled because both of my kids got in trouble at school. We can't reward bad behavior, so the adults ended up losing out because of the kids. This is just how parenting goes. It was the right decision, but it was a last minute change that took away the only time we could have had together in June.
Such a lengthy time apart is not easy for me (Mistress has Her own challenges - but She can speak about them, if She wishes). I have the demands that come with parenting a set of very active seven-year-olds who are way too smart for their own good. I love them, and I cannot imagine a life without them, but they are exhausting. Unlike my childhood, they are not left unsupervised for lengthy periods and I plan daily events with them and for their benefit. This means that I am often as tired as they are by bedtime - or earlier.
There is also the very human need for touch and affection that goes (somewhat) unmet during these times apart. Yes, I get a lot of hugs and kisses from my kids, and they are enough to keep me going. But there is a level of touch and affection that they cannot possibly give me. There is a hunger for Her touch that nothing else can relieve. The only bright spot in that hunger is that I know, in a short time, I will feel Her touch again. When we are together, I drink in Her touch like a sponge, charging my "touch-batteries" for our time apart. This helps me get through our time apart, although I always melt into Her embrace as soon as I can.
Having an unexpected delay in recharging my batteries makes it more difficult to bear being apart. The sudden loss of an expected day-trip was emotionally draining for me. It was like being punched in the gut while the rug is ripped out from under my feet. But I'm an adult, so I push through it. As I often say, "The only way out is through."
I feel like I need to make something clear at this point: I gladly suffer the loss of Her touch. There is no other touch from anyone else on earth who could take away the pain of not feeling Her feel me - and if there were, I would refuse it until She could lay hands on me again. As much as I hate being away from Her, I have come to accept and even enjoy the pain of being away. It's hard to explain, but if it didn't hurt to be away; then it wouldn't be so good to be in Her presence. I guess that either makes sense or it doesn't. I can't explain it better. The point is: I'm not complaining that it hurts to be away from Her, I'm just describing it. She makes it worthwhile.
Of course, there are also the kinky needs that throb with hunger, too. I want the combination of pleasure and pain that She grants me. Again, if I had the freedom to seek satiation with another; then I would refuse it. I know that some people hold their emotions separate from their kink - but for me they are tied together in an extremely tight package. I could (theoretically) feed the desire for sensation, but I would still be left hollow inside if it came from anyone but Her. Again, not complaining - I'm glad to have someone I can yearn for - I'm just describing things.
Additionally, there is a strain on my finances. My paychecks come and go with the school year, and I don't qualify for unemployment (in part because my job doesn't pay enough for enough weeks...). I get the benefit of spending summer with my kids, and not having to pay for childcare...but it comes with a lot of anxiety over bills and worrying over every dollar that goes out of my wallet. At best, my next paycheck will be in October. Depending on several factors, it could be less than expected. (My quasi-employment status is something I've been trying to change for some time, but the suck-ass economy has made changing careers difficult.)
So there have been the emotional demands of parenting, along with the physical exertion of it. There has been the aching for Her touch. There has been the longing for sensation and release of emotional-energy. There has been worry over finances. Then there has been one more monster hiding in my closet...
Several years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. It isn't tied to any specific happening in my life - it isn't episodic. It is like the free-floating sense of dread that comes with anxiety, but with sadness. I am extremely fortunate to have access to medication that keeps it under control. Believe me, I am thankful for that - and for the people who make it so. Even in the best of times, it lurks in the shadows. I count every day that I get out of bed and get happy to be a victory. Sometimes, just holding it down to a level of grouchiness is a victory.
As I've learned to live with it, I've learned what triggers it. All of those needs that I described? They serve as triggers, to some extent. I've learned to avoid HALT (Hunger, Angry, Lonely, Tired) feelings because they can spiral quickly. I've learned to eat well and exercise. I've learned to process emotions in small helpings so they don't build up. I deal with it, but it's always there. It makes good times slightly less enjoyable, and it makes hard times even harder.
I made it to our vacation, though. For two days, we had only to worry about each other. She picked me up at the train station and we spent the day holding hands and touching, having lunch and shopping. Then we checked into our hotel and collapsed into each other. We laugh and loved and all of my needs were fed. It was a wonderful time, and it went by far too quickly. It made the time apart worthwhile, by a longshot.
Then we picked up my kids and had two more days together. Obviously, the activities were different, but the hotel where we stayed had a separate sleeping room for adults. That gave us a bit of privacy, and I was grateful for that. Still, the dynamics are different when there are kids involved, and we are both mindful of managing what children are exposed to - you know, like adults SHOULD do when kids are around.
Those two days were over quickly, as well. Four days of heaven that were somehow simultaneously enough and yet not enough. If vacation is judged on how many recovery days are needed; then I needed two and a half. Of course, all the same stressors are present that were there before vacation - but my touch batteries are recharged and I can make it through to our next weekend. In the meantime, I will focus on being a good dad and making the career change that will allow Mistress and I to be together.
We didn't see each other for the entirety of June.
It's just the demands of our lives. We had a weekend late in May and vacation was scheduled for early July. Because funding is limited, we had to choose whether to have more time together at vacation and skip overnight trips in June, or have our regular trip in June and then see vacation reduced to little more than an average trip. We chose to have four days together in July.
We also planned a day-trip for June. The plan was for us to meet at a small waterpark in Connecticut (with my kids present) and to have a long, fun-filled day. However, those plans were cancelled because both of my kids got in trouble at school. We can't reward bad behavior, so the adults ended up losing out because of the kids. This is just how parenting goes. It was the right decision, but it was a last minute change that took away the only time we could have had together in June.
Such a lengthy time apart is not easy for me (Mistress has Her own challenges - but She can speak about them, if She wishes). I have the demands that come with parenting a set of very active seven-year-olds who are way too smart for their own good. I love them, and I cannot imagine a life without them, but they are exhausting. Unlike my childhood, they are not left unsupervised for lengthy periods and I plan daily events with them and for their benefit. This means that I am often as tired as they are by bedtime - or earlier.
There is also the very human need for touch and affection that goes (somewhat) unmet during these times apart. Yes, I get a lot of hugs and kisses from my kids, and they are enough to keep me going. But there is a level of touch and affection that they cannot possibly give me. There is a hunger for Her touch that nothing else can relieve. The only bright spot in that hunger is that I know, in a short time, I will feel Her touch again. When we are together, I drink in Her touch like a sponge, charging my "touch-batteries" for our time apart. This helps me get through our time apart, although I always melt into Her embrace as soon as I can.
Having an unexpected delay in recharging my batteries makes it more difficult to bear being apart. The sudden loss of an expected day-trip was emotionally draining for me. It was like being punched in the gut while the rug is ripped out from under my feet. But I'm an adult, so I push through it. As I often say, "The only way out is through."
I feel like I need to make something clear at this point: I gladly suffer the loss of Her touch. There is no other touch from anyone else on earth who could take away the pain of not feeling Her feel me - and if there were, I would refuse it until She could lay hands on me again. As much as I hate being away from Her, I have come to accept and even enjoy the pain of being away. It's hard to explain, but if it didn't hurt to be away; then it wouldn't be so good to be in Her presence. I guess that either makes sense or it doesn't. I can't explain it better. The point is: I'm not complaining that it hurts to be away from Her, I'm just describing it. She makes it worthwhile.
Of course, there are also the kinky needs that throb with hunger, too. I want the combination of pleasure and pain that She grants me. Again, if I had the freedom to seek satiation with another; then I would refuse it. I know that some people hold their emotions separate from their kink - but for me they are tied together in an extremely tight package. I could (theoretically) feed the desire for sensation, but I would still be left hollow inside if it came from anyone but Her. Again, not complaining - I'm glad to have someone I can yearn for - I'm just describing things.
Additionally, there is a strain on my finances. My paychecks come and go with the school year, and I don't qualify for unemployment (in part because my job doesn't pay enough for enough weeks...). I get the benefit of spending summer with my kids, and not having to pay for childcare...but it comes with a lot of anxiety over bills and worrying over every dollar that goes out of my wallet. At best, my next paycheck will be in October. Depending on several factors, it could be less than expected. (My quasi-employment status is something I've been trying to change for some time, but the suck-ass economy has made changing careers difficult.)
So there have been the emotional demands of parenting, along with the physical exertion of it. There has been the aching for Her touch. There has been the longing for sensation and release of emotional-energy. There has been worry over finances. Then there has been one more monster hiding in my closet...
Several years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. It isn't tied to any specific happening in my life - it isn't episodic. It is like the free-floating sense of dread that comes with anxiety, but with sadness. I am extremely fortunate to have access to medication that keeps it under control. Believe me, I am thankful for that - and for the people who make it so. Even in the best of times, it lurks in the shadows. I count every day that I get out of bed and get happy to be a victory. Sometimes, just holding it down to a level of grouchiness is a victory.
As I've learned to live with it, I've learned what triggers it. All of those needs that I described? They serve as triggers, to some extent. I've learned to avoid HALT (Hunger, Angry, Lonely, Tired) feelings because they can spiral quickly. I've learned to eat well and exercise. I've learned to process emotions in small helpings so they don't build up. I deal with it, but it's always there. It makes good times slightly less enjoyable, and it makes hard times even harder.
I made it to our vacation, though. For two days, we had only to worry about each other. She picked me up at the train station and we spent the day holding hands and touching, having lunch and shopping. Then we checked into our hotel and collapsed into each other. We laugh and loved and all of my needs were fed. It was a wonderful time, and it went by far too quickly. It made the time apart worthwhile, by a longshot.
Then we picked up my kids and had two more days together. Obviously, the activities were different, but the hotel where we stayed had a separate sleeping room for adults. That gave us a bit of privacy, and I was grateful for that. Still, the dynamics are different when there are kids involved, and we are both mindful of managing what children are exposed to - you know, like adults SHOULD do when kids are around.
Those two days were over quickly, as well. Four days of heaven that were somehow simultaneously enough and yet not enough. If vacation is judged on how many recovery days are needed; then I needed two and a half. Of course, all the same stressors are present that were there before vacation - but my touch batteries are recharged and I can make it through to our next weekend. In the meantime, I will focus on being a good dad and making the career change that will allow Mistress and I to be together.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Funny you should ask...
Mistress has been very patient in my reluctance to write this post. My reluctance doesn't stem from either shyness or from lack of material. It's just that I love what She wrote so much that I feel like anything I offer would detract from it.
Here I go anyway...in a round about fashion.
I have an acquaintance that is a professional comedian. He is a great person to bounce jokes off of because he has a professional laugh that he is willing to give to almost any level of comedy. But if he knows a person well enough, he will tuck that away and give you his comedian face. It is completely blank and even his eyes shutter as he automatically moves to considering the intellectual angles that compete with the earthly shades of humor. In this mode, you know that you are onto something when he takes a drink and says, "Yeah, that has legs. Let it run." If you can make him actually chuckle - even a little - then you have a gem.
When laughter is the coin of the realm, then even a chuckle is expensive.
Laughter is a coin that Mistress and I spend back and forth endlessly. We are both quick witted and our conversations often contain wry observations and puns that, I know from experience, leave some people exasperated and confused. One of the things I love about Her is that She is so nimble mentally, and we rarely race ahead of each other by much. So I could give dozens of examples of things that made either of us laugh, but that really doesn't do justice to the joy we bring to each other.
Like love, the best parts of laughter are those that grow and build on each other. Like building a parfait (Who doesn't like parfait?), each layer balances on the next. Each layer can be savored in its own right, but it is when one cuts down through it and gets the whole experience that one can truly understand what they have in their hands. Or mouth. Or spread over their genitals... (and I'm not saying that has happened...or that it hasn't happened...)
At some point, we were discussing all of the slang that is connected to naming a pussy. Bearded clam. Snatch. Va-jay-jay. Cookie. We agreed that none of them actually made it sound like something a guy would like to get face-to-face with on an intimate basis. The closest we could come was the word "pussy" - which became "cat" - which became "kitty" - which somehow morphed into "Purr." We agreed that this was an acceptable term because, among other things, I can make Her purr (just give me half an hour and a semi-comfortable flat surface...).
Since Purr is dominant, we gave Her a title - Ms. Purr. However, I felt it necessary to give Her a last name, because, after all, it isn't just any purr that I'm talking about. It is Ms. Purr MaGucchi. Then, of course, She needed a proper title. "International Vag of Mystery."
I have to explain that the title came to me as I considered Purr MaGucchi to be an excellent super-spy - better than James Bond at getting the men to talk. That led directly to Her theme song:
She's the vag who never runs from danger
With dagger and cloak she's always a perfect stranger
Where others fear to tread, she's never filled with dread
Odds are she will leave you sad tomorrow
Purr MaGucchi's here! Purr MaGucchi's here!
You know that you're in danger
When Purr MaGucchi knows your name!
Laugh all you want, but how many of you have genitals with their own theme song? Yeah, I thought so.
This would be funny if left alone, but I can never leave things well enough alone. So I decided that my genitals ALSO needed a name. After all, Purr MaGucchi needs an arch enemy...
Pierre Baguette was born! Well, he got his name, anyway. This also led to the often-dropped catch phrase, "Well, Pierre is a dick!"
Pierre, however, does not have a theme song. Yet. He is pushing for something strong and dramatic, but will probably end up with something silly.
As it turns out, Pierre is not a good arch enemy. Because, well, he's a dick. Dickishness is not really a crime. So it was decided that he is the side-kick/love-interest for Purr MaGucchi. She might return his affection if it weren't for his constant companions, the Numnutz twins - Lefty and More-Lefty. (I just made that up.) Right now, She is enamored with Slurpy Licking. (That, too.)
The birth of a villain is always shrouded in tragedy, and this story is no different. One of the things I love to do for Mistress is to shave Her legs. So, recently, I was doing that and Mistress decided that it was time to go do something else. The intent was that I was finish the job later that day. Sadly, it didn't happen that way.
So as we lie together, grieving for Her one unshaven leg - Juan-Harry L'egg was born! From the hard-scrabble stubble of neglect, he has declared that Purr MaGoochy will never know another night of peace!
Yes, he has a theme song:
Aye yai yai-yai
Juan-Harry L'egg
You cannnot shave me away!
I'll be back tomorrow anyway!
Yes, in the middle of all the ki-fu*, there is still plenty of time to love and cuddle, and yes - to laugh. God help us if the laughter ever stops.
*kinky fuckery
Here I go anyway...in a round about fashion.
I have an acquaintance that is a professional comedian. He is a great person to bounce jokes off of because he has a professional laugh that he is willing to give to almost any level of comedy. But if he knows a person well enough, he will tuck that away and give you his comedian face. It is completely blank and even his eyes shutter as he automatically moves to considering the intellectual angles that compete with the earthly shades of humor. In this mode, you know that you are onto something when he takes a drink and says, "Yeah, that has legs. Let it run." If you can make him actually chuckle - even a little - then you have a gem.
When laughter is the coin of the realm, then even a chuckle is expensive.
Laughter is a coin that Mistress and I spend back and forth endlessly. We are both quick witted and our conversations often contain wry observations and puns that, I know from experience, leave some people exasperated and confused. One of the things I love about Her is that She is so nimble mentally, and we rarely race ahead of each other by much. So I could give dozens of examples of things that made either of us laugh, but that really doesn't do justice to the joy we bring to each other.
Like love, the best parts of laughter are those that grow and build on each other. Like building a parfait (Who doesn't like parfait?), each layer balances on the next. Each layer can be savored in its own right, but it is when one cuts down through it and gets the whole experience that one can truly understand what they have in their hands. Or mouth. Or spread over their genitals... (and I'm not saying that has happened...or that it hasn't happened...)
At some point, we were discussing all of the slang that is connected to naming a pussy. Bearded clam. Snatch. Va-jay-jay. Cookie. We agreed that none of them actually made it sound like something a guy would like to get face-to-face with on an intimate basis. The closest we could come was the word "pussy" - which became "cat" - which became "kitty" - which somehow morphed into "Purr." We agreed that this was an acceptable term because, among other things, I can make Her purr (just give me half an hour and a semi-comfortable flat surface...).
Since Purr is dominant, we gave Her a title - Ms. Purr. However, I felt it necessary to give Her a last name, because, after all, it isn't just any purr that I'm talking about. It is Ms. Purr MaGucchi. Then, of course, She needed a proper title. "International Vag of Mystery."
I have to explain that the title came to me as I considered Purr MaGucchi to be an excellent super-spy - better than James Bond at getting the men to talk. That led directly to Her theme song:
She's the vag who never runs from danger
With dagger and cloak she's always a perfect stranger
Where others fear to tread, she's never filled with dread
Odds are she will leave you sad tomorrow
Purr MaGucchi's here! Purr MaGucchi's here!
You know that you're in danger
When Purr MaGucchi knows your name!
Laugh all you want, but how many of you have genitals with their own theme song? Yeah, I thought so.
This would be funny if left alone, but I can never leave things well enough alone. So I decided that my genitals ALSO needed a name. After all, Purr MaGucchi needs an arch enemy...
Pierre Baguette was born! Well, he got his name, anyway. This also led to the often-dropped catch phrase, "Well, Pierre is a dick!"
Pierre, however, does not have a theme song. Yet. He is pushing for something strong and dramatic, but will probably end up with something silly.
As it turns out, Pierre is not a good arch enemy. Because, well, he's a dick. Dickishness is not really a crime. So it was decided that he is the side-kick/love-interest for Purr MaGucchi. She might return his affection if it weren't for his constant companions, the Numnutz twins - Lefty and More-Lefty. (I just made that up.) Right now, She is enamored with Slurpy Licking. (That, too.)
The birth of a villain is always shrouded in tragedy, and this story is no different. One of the things I love to do for Mistress is to shave Her legs. So, recently, I was doing that and Mistress decided that it was time to go do something else. The intent was that I was finish the job later that day. Sadly, it didn't happen that way.
So as we lie together, grieving for Her one unshaven leg - Juan-Harry L'egg was born! From the hard-scrabble stubble of neglect, he has declared that Purr MaGoochy will never know another night of peace!
Yes, he has a theme song:
Aye yai yai-yai
Juan-Harry L'egg
You cannnot shave me away!
I'll be back tomorrow anyway!
Yes, in the middle of all the ki-fu*, there is still plenty of time to love and cuddle, and yes - to laugh. God help us if the laughter ever stops.
*kinky fuckery
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
On the lighter side of the Darkness
Its a New Year! Welcome 2014! Okay, I know that its MARCH...but with work and life and snow up to My ass... writing has not been on My mind. Trying not to freeze when the polar vortex or whatever shit they are blame for the cold has been My main focus. The holidays are long since done and finally, life can get back to normal-ish. Everything is normal-ish... since we are technically still living outside the norm. But we have our own norm and that is a good place to be.
Last year we had some rough times, but things are actually quite good between Us and that is a very good feeling. I know some of you suspected that we had blown apart. Not likely. We are good, things are good and that's that. So says Me, and I am the boss! HEHEHE
The stereo-type of BDSM is dark and serious... its often hateful and angry and negative. Some people like that, and some need it. As we have said over and over... if that is your thing, enjoy it. Its just not OUR thing. We like cozy, cuddly, slightly wicked...ok sometimes very wicked...and we like to laugh. WHAT? Laugh? GASP! No worries, they are not coming to take away our BDSM union card.
Last year we had some rough times, but things are actually quite good between Us and that is a very good feeling. I know some of you suspected that we had blown apart. Not likely. We are good, things are good and that's that. So says Me, and I am the boss! HEHEHE
The stereo-type of BDSM is dark and serious... its often hateful and angry and negative. Some people like that, and some need it. As we have said over and over... if that is your thing, enjoy it. Its just not OUR thing. We like cozy, cuddly, slightly wicked...ok sometimes very wicked...and we like to laugh. WHAT? Laugh? GASP! No worries, they are not coming to take away our BDSM union card.
I have been aching to write about some of the really funny parts of this lifestyle of ours. I have always been clear on the fact that we laugh a lot, but often those laughs are private moments. Being the ME that I am, means that I am selfish with some things... those private and priceless moments get locked into a vault, not to be shared... Honestly, sometimes that does not make sense... LOL So I want to share some of those moments, the ones that make Me laugh so hard that I cannot even stand up.
You all know that tomio and I live apart. This means that we spend our together times in hotels. Some day we will just pick one and keep going there, but in the 3 years we have been to all sorts of places. There was the crappy motel that with the driveway so steep we almost needed a sherpa to get to it. The most exciting part of that one was the huge hornet nest right near the parking area that made the trips to the car...exciting and fast! Unlock the car with the remote...and 3, 2 1 RUN!!! LOL We have been lucky because so far we have not been to any really bad places and a few have been quite lovely. We found one that we REALLY like that has a kitchenette in it, so he can cook bacon in the nude for Me. (evil grin) I love bacon, but a naked man cooking bacon is just about the best thing that a Domme could ask for! LOL Sadly they remodeled that one and now the price is out of our range.
Because we don't always have a kitchenette, and money is tight, and getting tighter, we usually bring food to heat up and share. I happen to be a very good cook and he is an amazing baker. So I made meatballs and he made sandwich rolls. One of the funniest moments ever started as Me going into the bathroom and him asking if I would like for him to make a meatball sub for Me. Of course, who does not want a meatball sub? So after washing my hands I step out of the bathroom and for a moment, My brain could not comprehend what I was seeing. Laying on his back on the bed, spread eagle, is My naked tomio with (wait for it!) a sandwich roll encasing his balls!! I am not sure if he was trying to be the meatball, or the sub, but I do know that I literally nearly fell over laughing! By the time I staggered over to the bed, I was laughing so hard that I could barely breathe and I had tears rolling down My cheeks! Oh Yeah, we know how to rock the serious shit! LOLOLOL
Since we are on the topic of food... tomio is a whore for My pink girl cock, but also for Nutter Butters. So one time, as a surprise when he was in the bathroom, I made a trail of mini peanut buttery cookies, from the doorway up the bed and to Me... as I lay looking yummy he came into the room and his face lit up like I had not seen before. He was very happy for that treat, but I can't help but wonder if it was Me... or the cookies!
Very early in our relationship, probably for our first Valentines Day, tomio got to the room early and decked the place out. He got Lilies (My favorite flower) and put them in a vase, had chocolates laid out and scatter a trail from the door to the bed and all over the bed with fresh rose petals. It was SO sweet, and so romantic. The thing that they DON'T show in the movies is that rose petals get ground into everything! They stain the sheets, stain your skin, stain tomio's heels and get stuck in all sorts of places. At one point I burst into hysterics, when I noticed rose petals in the crack of his ass! The moral of this tale is that movies are full of impossible shit, and rose petals need to go into the trash. Trust Me on that one! LOL
Did we ever mention the drooling? So we were getting down and dirty (waggles eyebrows) and My darling tomio... well he was really getting into it, shall we say... and suddenly, yup, you guessed it he drooled on Me! Down My chin, onto My neck... Oh god he was so horrified! I chuckled and wiped it off... and the apologies started. That made Me laugh even harder. What's a little drool between lovers? I mean
if he is so wrapped up that he drools... I take that as a compliment!
Sometimes people that chat about the kink, are just plain full of crap. This one guy in a chat group claimed that his Mistress made him paint her toenails with the brush held between his teeth and punished him if he made mistakes. I immediately laughed and said that was complete bullshit. My dear tomio had to try it out! I ended up with nail polish all over My toes, tomio had a headache from the stink of the nail polish held so close to his nose. Its simple physics! The brush from a bottle of nail polish is so short that unless you are some sort of mutant, there is no way in hell you would be able to even SEE where the tip of the brush was, never mind move it in the right way to actually do anything other than make a huge mess! It was like the kinky version of that show where they bust myths. Epic fail!
Across from one of the hotels that we like is a dinky little Lebanese restaurant that makes some of the best food ever. One night when we had a little extra money we went and got take-out. We decided to split an assortment plate to try a bunch of different things. Imagine, if you will, small chunks of chicken and beef with a garlic yogurt sauce that tastes like the kiss of an angel, rice that looks like plain white rice but tastes like heaven.... you get the idea ...amazingly yummy. So we were sitting there tasting these lovely things, enjoying them immensely and tomio got quiet. I was looked up to find him lost in the food, shoving the bits into his mouth, eyes glassy, soft appreciative noises escaping his lips. So I stop to watch him... he was oblivious to My attention until I cleared My throat. "Ummm, any chance you are going to actually share that with your Mistress?" He blinked, confused and looked down. The take-out container was nearly empty, his cheeks were full and he blushed. "I am sorry, Mistress...its just SO GOOD!" I could not disagree with him, but I did have to take his fork away so that I could actually get some of it. (grins)
One of the lovely treats that tomio has made for Me is a chocolate, coconut, peanut butter, oatmeal concoction that may not even have a name... other than "that awesome chocolate thing." When he makes it, we usually eat a very good sized container over the course of the weekend. Its one of those things that you just can't resist another nibble, just because you walked by the container. Well we had not realized how many times those nibbles happened on the way back to bed, until Sunday morning, when we realized that there were small chocolate smudges, as in 8 or 10 spots all over the white hotel sheet! Ooops!
So, as you can see, there is joy and laughter mixed in with our dirty, sexy, wicked, kinky kind of love! There as to be laughter because there is love. It's a magical sort of kink... and it just makes Me so happy!
You all know that tomio and I live apart. This means that we spend our together times in hotels. Some day we will just pick one and keep going there, but in the 3 years we have been to all sorts of places. There was the crappy motel that with the driveway so steep we almost needed a sherpa to get to it. The most exciting part of that one was the huge hornet nest right near the parking area that made the trips to the car...exciting and fast! Unlock the car with the remote...and 3, 2 1 RUN!!! LOL We have been lucky because so far we have not been to any really bad places and a few have been quite lovely. We found one that we REALLY like that has a kitchenette in it, so he can cook bacon in the nude for Me. (evil grin) I love bacon, but a naked man cooking bacon is just about the best thing that a Domme could ask for! LOL Sadly they remodeled that one and now the price is out of our range.
Because we don't always have a kitchenette, and money is tight, and getting tighter, we usually bring food to heat up and share. I happen to be a very good cook and he is an amazing baker. So I made meatballs and he made sandwich rolls. One of the funniest moments ever started as Me going into the bathroom and him asking if I would like for him to make a meatball sub for Me. Of course, who does not want a meatball sub? So after washing my hands I step out of the bathroom and for a moment, My brain could not comprehend what I was seeing. Laying on his back on the bed, spread eagle, is My naked tomio with (wait for it!) a sandwich roll encasing his balls!! I am not sure if he was trying to be the meatball, or the sub, but I do know that I literally nearly fell over laughing! By the time I staggered over to the bed, I was laughing so hard that I could barely breathe and I had tears rolling down My cheeks! Oh Yeah, we know how to rock the serious shit! LOLOLOL
Since we are on the topic of food... tomio is a whore for My pink girl cock, but also for Nutter Butters. So one time, as a surprise when he was in the bathroom, I made a trail of mini peanut buttery cookies, from the doorway up the bed and to Me... as I lay looking yummy he came into the room and his face lit up like I had not seen before. He was very happy for that treat, but I can't help but wonder if it was Me... or the cookies!
Very early in our relationship, probably for our first Valentines Day, tomio got to the room early and decked the place out. He got Lilies (My favorite flower) and put them in a vase, had chocolates laid out and scatter a trail from the door to the bed and all over the bed with fresh rose petals. It was SO sweet, and so romantic. The thing that they DON'T show in the movies is that rose petals get ground into everything! They stain the sheets, stain your skin, stain tomio's heels and get stuck in all sorts of places. At one point I burst into hysterics, when I noticed rose petals in the crack of his ass! The moral of this tale is that movies are full of impossible shit, and rose petals need to go into the trash. Trust Me on that one! LOL
Did we ever mention the drooling? So we were getting down and dirty (waggles eyebrows) and My darling tomio... well he was really getting into it, shall we say... and suddenly, yup, you guessed it he drooled on Me! Down My chin, onto My neck... Oh god he was so horrified! I chuckled and wiped it off... and the apologies started. That made Me laugh even harder. What's a little drool between lovers? I mean
if he is so wrapped up that he drools... I take that as a compliment!
Sometimes people that chat about the kink, are just plain full of crap. This one guy in a chat group claimed that his Mistress made him paint her toenails with the brush held between his teeth and punished him if he made mistakes. I immediately laughed and said that was complete bullshit. My dear tomio had to try it out! I ended up with nail polish all over My toes, tomio had a headache from the stink of the nail polish held so close to his nose. Its simple physics! The brush from a bottle of nail polish is so short that unless you are some sort of mutant, there is no way in hell you would be able to even SEE where the tip of the brush was, never mind move it in the right way to actually do anything other than make a huge mess! It was like the kinky version of that show where they bust myths. Epic fail!
Across from one of the hotels that we like is a dinky little Lebanese restaurant that makes some of the best food ever. One night when we had a little extra money we went and got take-out. We decided to split an assortment plate to try a bunch of different things. Imagine, if you will, small chunks of chicken and beef with a garlic yogurt sauce that tastes like the kiss of an angel, rice that looks like plain white rice but tastes like heaven.... you get the idea ...amazingly yummy. So we were sitting there tasting these lovely things, enjoying them immensely and tomio got quiet. I was looked up to find him lost in the food, shoving the bits into his mouth, eyes glassy, soft appreciative noises escaping his lips. So I stop to watch him... he was oblivious to My attention until I cleared My throat. "Ummm, any chance you are going to actually share that with your Mistress?" He blinked, confused and looked down. The take-out container was nearly empty, his cheeks were full and he blushed. "I am sorry, Mistress...its just SO GOOD!" I could not disagree with him, but I did have to take his fork away so that I could actually get some of it. (grins)
One of the lovely treats that tomio has made for Me is a chocolate, coconut, peanut butter, oatmeal concoction that may not even have a name... other than "that awesome chocolate thing." When he makes it, we usually eat a very good sized container over the course of the weekend. Its one of those things that you just can't resist another nibble, just because you walked by the container. Well we had not realized how many times those nibbles happened on the way back to bed, until Sunday morning, when we realized that there were small chocolate smudges, as in 8 or 10 spots all over the white hotel sheet! Ooops!
So, as you can see, there is joy and laughter mixed in with our dirty, sexy, wicked, kinky kind of love! There as to be laughter because there is love. It's a magical sort of kink... and it just makes Me so happy!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
New Year-- Make it Happy and love each other!
Just a quick note of thanks for all the people who follow us and those that read us on the sly! LOL
Happy New Year to you all. For each of you I hope you find a place and a person with whom your Kink fits perfectly. Someone who makes you laugh and cry, for various reasons. Someone who knows your needs and shares your hungers, and someone who makes it all worth it! 2014 is going to be a good year, I can feel it!
And to My tomio... I love you always, in all ways.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to you all. For each of you I hope you find a place and a person with whom your Kink fits perfectly. Someone who makes you laugh and cry, for various reasons. Someone who knows your needs and shares your hungers, and someone who makes it all worth it! 2014 is going to be a good year, I can feel it!
And to My tomio... I love you always, in all ways.
Happy New Year!
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