For the love

For the love

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Funny you should ask...

Mistress has been very patient in my reluctance to write this post. My reluctance doesn't stem from either shyness or from lack of material. It's just that I love what She wrote so much that I feel like anything I offer would detract from it.

Here I go a round about fashion.

I have an acquaintance that is a professional comedian. He is a great person to bounce jokes off of because he has a professional laugh that he is willing to give to almost any level of comedy. But if he knows a person well enough, he will tuck that away and give you his comedian face. It is completely blank and even his eyes shutter as he automatically moves to considering the intellectual angles that compete with the earthly shades of humor. In this mode, you know that you are onto something when he takes a drink and says, "Yeah, that has legs. Let it run." If you can make him actually chuckle - even a little - then you have a gem.

When laughter is the coin of the realm, then even a chuckle is expensive.

Laughter is a coin that Mistress and I spend back and forth endlessly. We are both quick witted and our conversations often contain wry observations and puns that, I know from experience, leave some people exasperated and confused. One of the things I love about Her is that She is so nimble mentally, and we rarely race ahead of each other by much. So I could give dozens of examples of things that made either of us laugh, but that really doesn't do justice to the joy we bring to each other.

Like love, the best parts of laughter are those that grow and build on each other. Like building a parfait (Who doesn't like parfait?), each layer balances on the next. Each layer can be savored in its own right, but it is when one cuts down through it and gets the whole experience that one can truly understand what they have in their hands. Or mouth. Or spread over their genitals... (and I'm not saying that has happened...or that it hasn't happened...)

At some point, we were discussing all of the slang that is connected to naming a pussy. Bearded clam. Snatch. Va-jay-jay. Cookie. We agreed that none of them actually made it sound like something a guy would like to get face-to-face with on an intimate basis. The closest we could come was the word "pussy" - which became "cat" - which became "kitty" - which somehow morphed into "Purr." We agreed that this was an acceptable term because, among other things, I can make Her purr (just give me half an hour and a semi-comfortable flat surface...).

Since Purr is dominant, we gave Her a title - Ms. Purr. However, I felt it necessary to give Her a last name, because, after all, it isn't just any purr that I'm talking about. It is Ms. Purr MaGucchi. Then, of course, She needed a proper title. "International Vag of Mystery."

I have to explain that the title came to me as I considered Purr MaGucchi to be an excellent super-spy - better than James Bond at getting the men to talk. That led directly to Her theme song:

She's the vag who never runs from danger
With dagger and cloak she's always a perfect stranger
Where others fear to tread, she's never filled with dread
Odds are she will leave you sad tomorrow
Purr MaGucchi's here! Purr MaGucchi's here!
You know that you're in danger
When Purr MaGucchi knows your name!

Laugh all you want, but how many of you have genitals with their own theme song? Yeah, I thought so.

This would be funny if left alone, but I can never leave things well enough alone. So I decided that my genitals ALSO needed a name. After all, Purr MaGucchi needs an arch enemy...

Pierre Baguette was born! Well, he got his name, anyway. This also led to the often-dropped catch phrase, "Well, Pierre is a dick!"

Pierre, however, does not have a theme song. Yet. He is pushing for something strong and dramatic, but will probably end up with something silly.

As it turns out, Pierre is not a good arch enemy. Because, well, he's a dick. Dickishness is not really a crime. So it was decided that he is the side-kick/love-interest for Purr MaGucchi. She might return his affection if it weren't for his constant companions, the Numnutz twins - Lefty and More-Lefty. (I just made that up.) Right now, She is enamored with Slurpy Licking. (That, too.)

The birth of a villain is always shrouded in tragedy, and this story is no different. One of the things I love to do for Mistress is to shave Her legs. So, recently, I was doing that and Mistress decided that it was time to go do something else. The intent was that I was finish the job later that day. Sadly, it didn't happen that way.

So as we lie together, grieving for Her one unshaven leg - Juan-Harry L'egg was born! From the hard-scrabble stubble of neglect, he has declared that Purr MaGoochy will never know another night of peace!

Yes, he has a theme song:

Aye yai yai-yai
Juan-Harry L'egg
You cannnot shave me away!
I'll be back tomorrow anyway!

Yes, in the middle of all the ki-fu*, there is still plenty of time to love and cuddle, and yes - to laugh. God help us if the laughter ever stops.

*kinky fuckery


  1. LMAO! So...apparently inside humor is funnier on the inside! I can't believe no one else find this hysterical! LOL

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