We all know that there is still an unfair stigma attached to the Kink. "They" think we are gnarly biker sorts, with wild hair, wild eyes, chains and leather on every bit of clothing, tattoos creeping up our necks and bad teeth. They also think that BDSM has to be dark and ugly. None of that is Me.
I am well-dressed and fashionable. I have lovely hair and nice white teeth. I have one modest tattoo that was a gift to myself when I turned 40. My eyes are soft and kind, as is My smile. I am, however, Dominant. I despise being called honey or sweetie. I do not tolerate men degrading women, or each other for that matter, and I have been described as "intense." If I get pissed off, hell hath no fury like mine, but I tend to be fairly even tempered. I love shoes...OMG I love shoes! I am an unabashed flirt. I can't help it, its just my nature. I don't mean to flirt, and don't even mean anything by it, but its just how I function. LOL Honestly I am not really even aware of it until later, or if someone calls me on it. There was a young waiter at a restaurant that I frequent. He would scramble to get to my table. A crook of the finger or a pout of the lip and he was all but sitting in my lap. It used to make my friend fall over laughing. She would roll her eyes and say that my Scorpio was showing. HEHE Ok that one was intentional... so what I am trying to say is almost no one around me has any clue about my bedroom preferences. The men at work would never dare tell a dirty joke in front of me. This is how I feel it is supposed to be. No one needs to know what others do in the private time and private space. Even if there was no stigma attached, My lovestyle is Mine.
Sigh, OK its not private when I talk about it here! LOL But this also is a forum to discuss such things. We are working to remove the stigma, and help people to embrace their own realities. I will never go to a "munch" or a kink event, because I would not be comfortable there. I like to talk to like-minded people, but I like to keep them at a distance. I hate to be judged and more than once I have been called a "powder puff" or a "fluff." My Kink lacks the brutality that some think is required. Too fucking bad, I like My Kink, It serves MY needs and My tomio's needs perfectly and it does not need to conform to anyone else's rules or guidelines. As a Sensual Dominant, I love that I can bind tomio up, spank, torment and bite him until he is whimpering, then cuddle up, kiss him gently and tell him how much he is loved. It feels good. It feeds my hunger and his and in the end THAT is all that matters.
Our Kink is not for everyone. It does not have to be for everyone. Some like things that we don't and vise versa. The beauty of the kinky world, and the world in general is that it comes in all sorts of colors and flavors, All you need is a like-minded partner and the willingness to try new things. Have fun, be safe, and get your Kink on!