Hello Fine Readers!
We are still here, still together and still rolling in The Kink. This blog might be a little bit fragmented, because there is a lot of stuff that I want to touch on...
First, Winter Sucks. There is snow literally up to my ass in New England at this point, and in case I never mentioned it, I am tall! It's bullshit, I hate it and there is nothing I can do about it. Control Freaks like Me hate shit like that! So there. It sucks, time to move on.
It's Valentine's Day. I hope you made it a happy one! I was greeted this morning with the most loving and wonderful text that it brought tears to My eyes! The way that tomio loves me is unlike any love I have ever felt. It's the kind of love people dream of, write of and paint for... the kind I never thought I would find. I am grateful for him every day! I love you smoochieface! Yes, yes the mean Dominant Mistress of Wickedness just called him a silly name. Deal with it. LMAO!
The other thing that Valentine's Day means this year is the release of 50 shades of bullshit, the movie. While it amuses me to no end that churches and the uptight citizens brigade is all up in arms about the the movie, the reality of it is that, as I pointed out in My blog of July 2012, the books SUCK! They are baldy written, filled with the lamest sex scenes in history, loaded with inaccurate stereotypes of BDSM play, and worst of all it portrays blatant abuse as Kink. I am not going to rehash all of that nonsense, I wrote it once, go read it here, http://fortheloveofdominance.blogspot.com/2012/07/50-shades-of-you-have-got-to-be-kidding.html
While I am not going to get into it all, I can't believe that they made a movie out of it! Now all of the people who don't read, but still think BDSM is something they want to see, are going to go and get an eyeful of BULLSHIT! They are going to see systematic abuse wearing the guise of Kink. They are going to see a depiction a man being able to remove someone's consent by having them sign a piece of paper that they do not understand. They are going to see rape, emotional abuse, neglect, mistreatment, maniacal control and all of it is going to wrapped up in a phony package called BDSM. Once I was hopeful that it would open the door for people to stop thinking of it as dark, creepy, dangerous and scary. I wanted people to be able to see it a just another way people interact and private way to get needs met between two consenting adults. That was a pipe dream. This is going to color it darker and increase the stupidity level. I am so disappointed and angry about it... I can't even express myself correctly.
Ok so on to a more vibrant note. We are still here, still kinky and still very much in love. There have been emotional times over the past 8 months, medical issues, money issues and stress. Lots of stress, but we push through it all. There have been times when our visits were not about the kink at all, but about two people with the need for loving contact. We have cuddled and watched movies and sprawled in bed, wrapped up in a bundle of arms and legs, just staring at the TV. It's OK to do that, because its what we both needed. We talked about needs and wants. Sometimes we had big plans for all sorts of naughty deliciousness only to have the actually time dissolve into tears and needs that were well outside of the Kink...
Here's the thing: We are a couple that is involved in Kinky things, we play Kinky, we having Kinky toys and talk Kinky. I am always Dominant. That part never changes because it is a not a role that I play, it is who I am. My tomio is always submissive. It is who he is. But the bottom line is that we are still PEOPLE. We have wants, needs, hungers, fears, feelings and our time together is about filling the voids and making it all right again. Sometimes that is not Kinky.
That being said, our last visit we found our way back into the full blown Kink (Wicked grin) and it was good, damn, it was good!
For the love
Showing posts with label Sensual Domination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sensual Domination. Show all posts
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Monday, October 3, 2011
Submitting to a Sensual
Yesterday I watched a Nova documentary on Genie, the feral child discovered in California in the 1970s (first portion is here and the rest is here). Part of it includes a discussion of Victor, the feral child discovered in France over a hundred years ago. Two cases, separated by more than a century, that are simply breathtaking in their implications for what happens when a human is denied connections to other humans. If a human, without contact with other humans, is effectively a simple biological animal...then what makes us human, to a large extent, is other humans.
This is true of what Mistress Delila and I share. I am the submissive I am because She is the Dominant that She is. Being with Her has always been, for me, like slipping into a tailor-made suit. But instead of putting something on, I take something off - all of the roles and expectations the rest of the world puts onto me get sloughed off at the door. Then I remove my clothes and sink to my knees and She buckles Her collar on my throat and...
John Denver, is his hit "Rocky Mountain High," talks about his first trip to the mountains, saying, "he was born in the summer of he twenty-second year/coming home to a place he'd never been before." That is what it is always like when I kneel before Her - like coming home.
I believe that I have always craved a D/s relationship, even before I knew what one was. As a result of needing this dynamic, and never having it, my submissiveness was not fully developed and could not truly be expressed. Until She exerted control over me, it was merely potential. I wanted and needed someone to Dominate me, but I didn't really know to surrender fully.
Over time, I have conformed myself to Her demands. It is, at the same time, very much like what I have always dreamed of, but very different, too. What is exactly what I've dreamed of is the luxurious beauty of willfully turning complete control over to someone else. There is a feeling of total peace and rightness in my service to Her.
What is different is how Her Dominance is expressed. There are some things that anyone would put into BDSM categories - some bondage, some giving and receiving of pain, the giving and acceptance of my body as Hers to do with as She pleases. But even these "traditional" BDSM activities are done in a way that is not seen as traditional FemDom. When She binds me, She makes sure I am (somewhat) comfortable. When She hurts me, it is in ways She knows I enjoy, or at least tolerate well. When She uses me, She also values me as a person She loves and makes sure my needs are met...but on Her timetable.
And it isn't about whips and chains or corsets and stilletos, either. For example, one time She took out a set of markers and used me as a canvas. Often, She will take me with Her when She shops for shoes, and I will walk up and down the aisles, holding Her choices. Then We find a place for Her to sit, and I kneel and help Her try them on. She has me cook for Her (while I am naked, of course). I open doors for Her and defer to Her decisions on things, small and large. Why? Because these are ways I can serve Her beyond the fraction of our lives spent secluded in a bedroom. I enjoy doing these things for Her because I enjoy Her Dominance over me, and these things are how I get to show that to the world, even if the world doesn't understand what they are seeing.
As a direct result of experiencing Her Sensual Dominance, I have developed a distaste for describing D/s activities as "hard" or "soft," as if one is more worthy of a BDSM title or status than the other. What these words often mean are "violent" and "non-violent." So just use those words! "Hard" means difficult or solid - and I can promise that some of the things She has me do are quite difficult (more difficult than taking a beating) and Her sway over me is quite complete and solid. It is as real as it can be...and if She thinks violence is needed or desired, She is capable of it. (Note: "Violence" does not hold any connotation of wrongness. It just means "using force," generally with the intention of inflicting pain. The right kind of violence is pure heaven.)
I also know that I have changed Mistress Delila. When I first spoke to Her, She did not want me to call Her "Goddess." Now She notices if I do not. She makes me and I make Her. We begin as a Dominant Woman and a submissive man, but end up as a D/s couple. It's pretty magical, really.
Is it sensual? Well I can honestly say that my skin hurts because Her hands are not touching it. The sound of Her voice is like a salve when I am distraught. My tongue thirsts for the taste of Her. My eyes seek Her so they can be filled with Her image. Her scent is intoxicating. Yes, it is sensual because it fills my senses.
Surrendering to Her means submerging my physical body in Her desires and releasing my emotional and psychological needs to Her care. It means engaging my full sensory faculties and then turning them over to Her, knowing that She will use them as tools to build deeper intimacy and bind us ever closer in the bonds of love.
She is my Goddess, and She owns me entirely. And I am so very happy that is true.
This is true of what Mistress Delila and I share. I am the submissive I am because She is the Dominant that She is. Being with Her has always been, for me, like slipping into a tailor-made suit. But instead of putting something on, I take something off - all of the roles and expectations the rest of the world puts onto me get sloughed off at the door. Then I remove my clothes and sink to my knees and She buckles Her collar on my throat and...
John Denver, is his hit "Rocky Mountain High," talks about his first trip to the mountains, saying, "he was born in the summer of he twenty-second year/coming home to a place he'd never been before." That is what it is always like when I kneel before Her - like coming home.
I believe that I have always craved a D/s relationship, even before I knew what one was. As a result of needing this dynamic, and never having it, my submissiveness was not fully developed and could not truly be expressed. Until She exerted control over me, it was merely potential. I wanted and needed someone to Dominate me, but I didn't really know to surrender fully.
Over time, I have conformed myself to Her demands. It is, at the same time, very much like what I have always dreamed of, but very different, too. What is exactly what I've dreamed of is the luxurious beauty of willfully turning complete control over to someone else. There is a feeling of total peace and rightness in my service to Her.
What is different is how Her Dominance is expressed. There are some things that anyone would put into BDSM categories - some bondage, some giving and receiving of pain, the giving and acceptance of my body as Hers to do with as She pleases. But even these "traditional" BDSM activities are done in a way that is not seen as traditional FemDom. When She binds me, She makes sure I am (somewhat) comfortable. When She hurts me, it is in ways She knows I enjoy, or at least tolerate well. When She uses me, She also values me as a person She loves and makes sure my needs are met...but on Her timetable.
And it isn't about whips and chains or corsets and stilletos, either. For example, one time She took out a set of markers and used me as a canvas. Often, She will take me with Her when She shops for shoes, and I will walk up and down the aisles, holding Her choices. Then We find a place for Her to sit, and I kneel and help Her try them on. She has me cook for Her (while I am naked, of course). I open doors for Her and defer to Her decisions on things, small and large. Why? Because these are ways I can serve Her beyond the fraction of our lives spent secluded in a bedroom. I enjoy doing these things for Her because I enjoy Her Dominance over me, and these things are how I get to show that to the world, even if the world doesn't understand what they are seeing.
As a direct result of experiencing Her Sensual Dominance, I have developed a distaste for describing D/s activities as "hard" or "soft," as if one is more worthy of a BDSM title or status than the other. What these words often mean are "violent" and "non-violent." So just use those words! "Hard" means difficult or solid - and I can promise that some of the things She has me do are quite difficult (more difficult than taking a beating) and Her sway over me is quite complete and solid. It is as real as it can be...and if She thinks violence is needed or desired, She is capable of it. (Note: "Violence" does not hold any connotation of wrongness. It just means "using force," generally with the intention of inflicting pain. The right kind of violence is pure heaven.)
I also know that I have changed Mistress Delila. When I first spoke to Her, She did not want me to call Her "Goddess." Now She notices if I do not. She makes me and I make Her. We begin as a Dominant Woman and a submissive man, but end up as a D/s couple. It's pretty magical, really.
Is it sensual? Well I can honestly say that my skin hurts because Her hands are not touching it. The sound of Her voice is like a salve when I am distraught. My tongue thirsts for the taste of Her. My eyes seek Her so they can be filled with Her image. Her scent is intoxicating. Yes, it is sensual because it fills my senses.
Surrendering to Her means submerging my physical body in Her desires and releasing my emotional and psychological needs to Her care. It means engaging my full sensory faculties and then turning them over to Her, knowing that She will use them as tools to build deeper intimacy and bind us ever closer in the bonds of love.
She is my Goddess, and She owns me entirely. And I am so very happy that is true.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
What IS Sensual Domination
This is a big question in MY world. People know about "Domination" from bad movies, bad porn and bad cartoon characters (catwoman comes to mind.) But what is this "branch" of the BDSM tree that is lacking in brutality?
Some of the "old guard" or "leather guard" would say it is bullshit and fluff. LMAO I stopped caring what those folks said...well...the first time one of them opened their mouth to Me. I do still identify as being a Dominant. I just don't feel the need to beat the crap out of people that I care about.
First, lets talk about what it IS. It is Control: complete and utter. I tell him what to wear, when to get up, when to exercise, how to take care of himself, what to eat, what not to eat, and I control every aspect of our sexual relationship (when, if, how, how long, where and most importantly, when and if he get to release.)
The day I collared him, I took Ownership of him. I would hope that by now you all realize that My tomio is EXTREMELY intelligent and very well-educated. I would have him no other way, and he is not submissive to the world. He is submissive to ME. If you cross him in public, do not expect him to back down. I love that about him. However, I own him. He loves that he is owned and he finds great comfort in My Love and My Ownership.
Do I spank him? Yes, if he needs it, and sometimes just cuz I want to. I flog him with a gorgeous red suede flogger, that makes a lot of noise, but does not have much bite. I bite him, because he makes the most delicious noises when I do... (shudders with pleasure)- We play with hot wax, ice and a riding crop. By saying We...I mean I use these things on him.
Do I tie him up? Yes. I tie his wrists with black silky fabric. If he wanted to get loose, he could, because it stretches. We have recently started with the bondage tape...because I was at the adult toy store, it was purple, and I had a coupon! LMAO totally true, I swear. Tying him is fun, adds an extra level of control and We both enjoy it. I tried the handcuffs on him, but they HURT, so I took them off. THAT is the difference. I do not hurt him other than in small very controlled ways.
If this is sounding a lot like the BDSM that you know... hold on to your hat. LOL
Do I dress in leather? UM...NO. Leather is not comfortable to Me. I wear a tank top and yoga pants, or just panties. I do own a GORGEOUS pair of black leather boots. They are sexy as hell...and hurt like it too! LOL Seriously, they hurt if I wear them for more than an hour or so. I hate to be uncomfortable.
Is everything black and leathery? HAHAHA nope! I am far too sensual for that! ALL of My toys are PRETTY... flogger, crop, strap on, bondage tape, vibes everything is PRETTY! Some are sparkly, some are soft, some are purple or pink...everything is PRETTY. Its just Me. I like pretty.
Do I degrade him? Nope, never. I love and value him too much to make him feel like anything less than My treasure. He is worthy, wise and wonderful.
Do I make him bleed? NOOO! Ok there was one time, but I had removed a skin tag that was driving Me nuts on his beautiful face, and I removed it GENTLY and with love. It's not that same! lol
When I spank or bind him, am I brutal? NEVER! I do not spank him for extended periods of time, do not bind him into painful positions and leave him there, and I do not tend to mark his lovely flesh. Ok sometimes the bites leave marks...but again that is because of the LOVELY noises he makes-- clearly not My fault! ROFLMAO
Do I slap him across the face? Never.
Trample him? Nope
Kick or punch? nu-uh
pull his hair? Um... he shaves his head so that is a trick question...hehe
And most importantly...I LOVE, ADORE and TREASURE HIM. I stroke his skin, kiss him gently, rub his bald head. We laugh, A LOT, he makes up silly song. We kiss, cuddle, snuggle, he paints My toenails. It is a LOVING relationship. Oh and We go SHOE SHOPPING (the crowd goes wild) hehehe
It is not the type of relationship everyone in the kink community wants. I had a long distance pet, who decided after he was here and we had a real session together, that I was not HARD enough for him. (also note, he did not get the loving, kissing, snuggling part...We did not have that sort of relationship.) But this was a man who craved brutality...his former Mistress stapled his scrotum to a board. (WINCES) Yeah that is NEVER gonna happen with ME.
Its not for everyone... but We are finding that We are not alone. And We love that!
Some of the "old guard" or "leather guard" would say it is bullshit and fluff. LMAO I stopped caring what those folks said...well...the first time one of them opened their mouth to Me. I do still identify as being a Dominant. I just don't feel the need to beat the crap out of people that I care about.
First, lets talk about what it IS. It is Control: complete and utter. I tell him what to wear, when to get up, when to exercise, how to take care of himself, what to eat, what not to eat, and I control every aspect of our sexual relationship (when, if, how, how long, where and most importantly, when and if he get to release.)
The day I collared him, I took Ownership of him. I would hope that by now you all realize that My tomio is EXTREMELY intelligent and very well-educated. I would have him no other way, and he is not submissive to the world. He is submissive to ME. If you cross him in public, do not expect him to back down. I love that about him. However, I own him. He loves that he is owned and he finds great comfort in My Love and My Ownership.
Do I spank him? Yes, if he needs it, and sometimes just cuz I want to. I flog him with a gorgeous red suede flogger, that makes a lot of noise, but does not have much bite. I bite him, because he makes the most delicious noises when I do... (shudders with pleasure)- We play with hot wax, ice and a riding crop. By saying We...I mean I use these things on him.
Do I tie him up? Yes. I tie his wrists with black silky fabric. If he wanted to get loose, he could, because it stretches. We have recently started with the bondage tape...because I was at the adult toy store, it was purple, and I had a coupon! LMAO totally true, I swear. Tying him is fun, adds an extra level of control and We both enjoy it. I tried the handcuffs on him, but they HURT, so I took them off. THAT is the difference. I do not hurt him other than in small very controlled ways.
If this is sounding a lot like the BDSM that you know... hold on to your hat. LOL
Do I dress in leather? UM...NO. Leather is not comfortable to Me. I wear a tank top and yoga pants, or just panties. I do own a GORGEOUS pair of black leather boots. They are sexy as hell...and hurt like it too! LOL Seriously, they hurt if I wear them for more than an hour or so. I hate to be uncomfortable.
Is everything black and leathery? HAHAHA nope! I am far too sensual for that! ALL of My toys are PRETTY... flogger, crop, strap on, bondage tape, vibes everything is PRETTY! Some are sparkly, some are soft, some are purple or pink...everything is PRETTY. Its just Me. I like pretty.
Do I degrade him? Nope, never. I love and value him too much to make him feel like anything less than My treasure. He is worthy, wise and wonderful.
Do I make him bleed? NOOO! Ok there was one time, but I had removed a skin tag that was driving Me nuts on his beautiful face, and I removed it GENTLY and with love. It's not that same! lol
When I spank or bind him, am I brutal? NEVER! I do not spank him for extended periods of time, do not bind him into painful positions and leave him there, and I do not tend to mark his lovely flesh. Ok sometimes the bites leave marks...but again that is because of the LOVELY noises he makes-- clearly not My fault! ROFLMAO
Do I slap him across the face? Never.
Trample him? Nope
Kick or punch? nu-uh
pull his hair? Um... he shaves his head so that is a trick question...hehe
And most importantly...I LOVE, ADORE and TREASURE HIM. I stroke his skin, kiss him gently, rub his bald head. We laugh, A LOT, he makes up silly song. We kiss, cuddle, snuggle, he paints My toenails. It is a LOVING relationship. Oh and We go SHOE SHOPPING (the crowd goes wild) hehehe
It is not the type of relationship everyone in the kink community wants. I had a long distance pet, who decided after he was here and we had a real session together, that I was not HARD enough for him. (also note, he did not get the loving, kissing, snuggling part...We did not have that sort of relationship.) But this was a man who craved brutality...his former Mistress stapled his scrotum to a board. (WINCES) Yeah that is NEVER gonna happen with ME.
Its not for everyone... but We are finding that We are not alone. And We love that!
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